Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
