I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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