I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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