Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
