you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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