If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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