Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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