We named our party play list daddy issues
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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