Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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