I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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