No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
