Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Everclear isn't food dammit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize