That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.