Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  What a fucking waste of an outfit

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  (415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1
  Replies (8) Good night (499) Bad night (1180)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.

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  (601): A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first. http://tfl.nu/xh2t
  Replies (18) Good night (4550) Bad night (1267)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."

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  (802): We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money." http://tfl.nu/9u0b
  Replies (12) Good night (1239) Bad night (5870)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.

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  (918): See, not all bad decisions involve my penis. http://tfl.nu/lbts
  Replies (5) Good night (3004) Bad night (796)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.

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  (203): I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards. http://tfl.nu/12q7
  Replies (14) Good night (2911) Bad night (1409)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

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  (603): You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm http://tfl.nu/1h6h
  Replies (2) Good night (2903) Bad night (683)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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  (519): He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka. http://tfl.nu/8f21
  Replies (13) Good night (2516) Bad night (776)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

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  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2712) Bad night (879)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.

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  (785): I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now. http://tfl.nu/2p17
  Replies (7) Good night (1872) Bad night (918)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself

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  (303): It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself http://tfl.nu/u3l5
  Replies (6) Good night (652) Bad night (1854)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR

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  (404): NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR http://tfl.nu/cqki
  Replies (21) Good night (837) Bad night (2419)
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  (951): View more from California

  DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness

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  (951): DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness http://tfl.nu/qa2j
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (479)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.

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  (435): Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that. http://tfl.nu/d2qc
  Replies (11) Good night (921) Bad night (530)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.

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  (615): Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of. http://tfl.nu/7ejc
  Replies (2) Good night (260) Bad night (552)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.

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  (+44): Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread. http://tfl.nu/ub9a
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (229)

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