walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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