the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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