Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize