belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
