he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
