That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
