No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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