She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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