I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
