Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
