She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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