Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
