Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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