"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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