I have demons in me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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