Even the bartender felt bad for me
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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