I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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