Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So many bounce houses so little time
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize