I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
