it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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