cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
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