no, he came in my armpit
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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