yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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