tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
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