I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
