So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
