just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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