This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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