After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Barsexuality is the new black.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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