i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
