I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
