Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize