Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
