why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
