so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
