So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize