Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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