A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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