we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
