remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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