I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
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