Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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