yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
