i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm passing your future prison.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
