So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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