You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
